“Do you know your value comes from being made by God, not because of anything you do or any other reason?” Karen shared this affirmation with our son in the car the other day just before a song came on the radio called God’s Not Done With You. It was an emotional moment.
Do you ever feel like you’re not doing enough for God, like you’re a waste of His resources? You know, even missionaries get that. Sometimes God does lean on us to take bold steps for Him, and it can feel uncomfortable while we resist, but He is NEVER telling us we aren’t valuable. God doesn’t make junk and, no matter what mistakes we’ve made—even recently—God will never give up on us or be done molding us.
There are times that this is hard to believe, in the midst of the swirl of feelings that hit us during the course of life. A wise friend encouraged us to take time to pause regularly and really think about and accept how we are feeling. Do you feel defeated, overwhelmed, incapable? Those feelings are real and if we just shrug them off and keep plodding along, we’re not really moving forward. After a while we feel, as Bilbo from The Lord of the Rings put it, “like butter scraped over too much bread.”
I’m learning not to fight those feelings off (and later have people tell me that they can tell I’m feeling that way even if I’m unaware). Instead, recognize and really grieve how you’re actually feeling, knowing that God is with us in that space (Psalm 34:18, Matthew 5:4, Psalm 23:5). I picture having a house party when these feelings show up at the door. Do I lock the door and find out later that they’ve climbed in a window, or do I welcome them in and walk them over to my guest of honor, Jesus, who knows just how to handle them? I’m actually walking to the altar with my desires for control, safety, love and value. As I surrender them, I get all those needs met by my Lord (Matt 11:28-29).